wingandwell

When I was first coming down with appendicitis symptoms, I called my mom to do some literal belly aching, to which she replied, “Maybe it’s from wearing all those tight pants”. I’m sure I snapped at her for the suggestion, but the truth is, I was wearing some tight pants that day, the ones featured in these photos in fact. I didn’t intend to buy pants so tight I’d need a shoe horn to slip into them, but I was at the Rag & Bone store and the petite young sales woman assured me that if I could zip them up, they were the right size. “They’ll stretch”, she said, “trust me”. And so I bought the damn things, and I’m still waiting for them to mold to my figure. Right now they sort of slide along my skin whenever I try to bend or sit, and if I stand straight they hold me up like a brace.

If that doesn’t make me sound like a dick, then you should know I bought these pants specifically for their faded black color, and perfectly ripped knee holes. Yes, I paid money for jeans that are already falling apart at the seams. The tag even makes note of this fact by asking me to “please use care when trying on these pants”. In my defense, it’s incredibly difficult to make actual rips along the knee just by wear alone, and damn it if that destroyed style doesn’t look cool.

I’ve paired my delicate new pants with a few of my other favorite things – a pair of Acne pistol boots that fit nice and snug around the ankle and actually do stretch to your foot, and a Helmut Lang knit blazer that can really do no wrong (it fits like a glove and adds just the right amount of structure to an otherwise slub outfit).

Now tell me, do you believe this “they’ll stretch” bullshit, or should I accept the fact that I’ll never feel my legs again? How to do you feel about ABC (already-been-chewed) fashion? And ugh, aren’t moms annoying sometimes? Sound off in the comments.

|ABOVE| Helmut Lang gala blazer, ASOS draped tank (similar here and here), Rag & Bone skinny jeans with holes, Acne pistol boot, Jennifer Zeuner evil eye & hamsa necklace, Westward Leaning wintermute sunglasses